8. The pact you made with a friend to quit together means you have to turn on ninja mode anytime you sneak a cigarette.
9. Hello, health. Goodbye, James Dean-level coolness.
10. After you quit, each day feels like a sentence without —
11. You heard that nicotine may slow the progression of Alzheimer’s, and you rationalize that it’s actually better for your health to smoke.
12. One of the reasons you started smoking was to impress some cool older kids. The worst part is, it probably worked.
13. Another reason you started is that your mother always told you not to. So yeah, Mom, it kind of is your fault!
14. When the guy at work suggests that you write down your feelings every time you crave a cigarette, all that comes out on paper is: “This guy is driving me crazy.”
15. When you try to replace cigarettes with gum or a lollipop, you realize you’re suddenly the weirdo with the lollipop.