23. What do non-smokers do after a nap? After vacuuming? After doing anything?
24. You know what’s delightful after a good hard workout? Don’t say a cigarette. Don’t say a cigarette.
25. You openly declare to friends that you’re going to quit. Then you try to convince them that they must have dreamed it when they catch you smoking a week later.
26. Instead of lighting a cigarette, you light a candle or some incense. Now it looks like you’re living in a romance novel.
27. You’ve tried hypnosis to quit. You still smoke, but now you also quack like a duck whenever anyone says “button.”
28. Friends have found you staring longingly at used cigarette butts on the ground.
29. You’ve read this entire list and really feel like you deserve a cigarette as a reward for your dedication.