In a ground breaking study, titled Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence, celebrated Swiss psychologist Alice Miller concludes the following from her research into the raising of an infamous criminal mind, Adolph Hitler, and the connection of psychopathology and the harsh parenting practices that prevailed in the decades leading to Nazi Germany:
“The capacity of the human organism to bear pain is, for our own protection, limited. All attempts to overstep this natural threshold by resolving repression [of core human emotions of compassion, empathy] in a violent manner will, as with every other form of violence, have negative and often dangerous consequences.”
The links between psychopathology and toxic masculinity are real, vital to understand in order to
What makes toxic masculinity damaging to human relationships, and men and women alike, is that it is based on a belief system, or hate propaganda, which deliberately makes the female gender a stigma, something degrading and worthless. (Much in the same way that racism or classism work to make race or poverty a stigma.)
Fantasy 1: A woman has to prove she’s either a “good” or “evil” woman.
There’s no black and white. A “good woman” is on the side of men. She never says or does anything to make them feel uncomfortable. She never sides with women; in fact she works around the clock to silence any “screeching” or “demanding” women around her! A good woman is always nice, selfless, never threatening to a man. In contrast, an “evil woman” is loud, selfish, demands attention (a narcissist!), thinks highly of herself (a narcissist), man-hating, perceived as controlling and trying to take over when she leads, emasculating, and overall a danger to society.
A good woman accepts that her wants and needs have little or no significance, and that a man’s needs and wants and comforts take precedence. In contrast to an “evil” woman, a good woman goes out of her way to refrain from making demands or requests that threaten or ask a man to do something that make him feel uncomfortable or unmanly (such as take an interest in nonsexual affection or emotional intimacy)
A good woman in other words accepts the double standard treatment, she understands that, because she is not fully human, it’s okay to expect she only has feelings and wants that reflect she’s a mere extension of her husband or others.
So what are these fantasies?