Here are 8 mind games narcissistic men play that are signs of emotionally abusive relationships with someone who’s trying to pull the wool over your eyes in order to preserve their false sense of self.
1. Pretending to be the perfect guy
At this stage, they want their ego stroked and will tell you whatever you want to hear in order to have sex with you or keep you as a source of supply to boost their self-esteem. If you are attractive, empathic or wealthy, you have the supplies narcissists believe they need in order to fill their emptiness.
During this idealization stage, the narcissist will love bomb you with compliments and affection in order to hook you in.
The narcissist works out what you want to hear and presents themselves to be the person you want them to be in order to lure you in. They hook you into a relationship by playing into your fantasy of being loved. You’re easily fooled by the charming way their grandiose false self portrays them as the man of your dreams.
They like the thrill of the chase, but once they have you where they want you, they may grow bored and move on to someone else. But by that time, you’re totally hooked by the belief that you’ve met the man of your dreams.
2. Turning the problem around and making it your fault
Once you stop meeting his needs or supplying him, his disappointment kicks in. And once you’ve had a peek through the cracks, he starts devaluing you to in order to protect himself from having to face his own human imperfections.
At this point, the narcissist is likely to attack your character and criticize you, as if you are the only problem standing between the two of you and perfect happiness. They blame you in order to deflect from their own faulty actions.
3. Twisting things
The narcissist will accuse you of doing the things they do, such as cheating, being selfish and being judgmental. They disown any negative aspects of themselves and project them onto others, viewing everyone around them as ruthless or exploitative, while seeing themselves as purely innocent.
They will turn your words around and create the truth they prefer to believe. You become the bullying villain and they’re the innocent victim putting up with you. You are crazy, emotional or need help.
They are just fine.
When you remind them of something they did which exposes their bad behavior and authentic self, they will tell you that you are wrong and that your perceptions of reality are incorrect.
This causes you to back down, give up your own thoughts and beliefs, and possibly even question your own sanity.