What it’s like to be a diagnosed narcissist

I’ll give you an example: Two guys standing at a crossroads, and two old ladies wanting to cross the street. Both guys help a lady out, flirting a little. Old ladies like it when young men help them cross the street and have a laugh. But ask which of the two men is the narcissist, and people cannot answer that, because they have too little information. One of them is a narcissist, and the other is like a Boy Scout. If you explain the internal reasoning of the men — one does it because he’s a Boy Scout, and the other because, across the street, there is a woman he wants to impress, then we understand what narcissism actually is. People judge narcissists’ actions, and they have no clue whether it’s narcissism or not. That’s the part that hurts. Narcissists get blamed for a lot of stuff that’s not even narcissism at all. That’s what personally annoys me. I’m not [excusing] the actions of narcissists, of people with malignant narcissistic tendencies, but a lot of narcissists are looked at in such a way that it makes me reluctant to be honest about the fact that I am diagnosed with NPD.

Do you feel that having NPD affects your daily life?

It still affects my decision-making. Its slows down my decision-making, because I am aware that I’m a narcissist, and I have to second-guess all my decisions. It will be that way until the end of time, which, I think for me personally, is a good thing. If you’re not aware of the fact that you’re narcissistic, you can make wrong decisions. People that are in management or leadership positions can make wrong decisions based on their narcissistic tendencies, and not be aware of it. So for me, it’s a good thing. The fact that I did a lot of research on narcissism provides me with a side job that I make money from. I can help people that have problems related to NPD, or people being victimized by someone with NPD, and help them deal with it.

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