Do you mean online counseling, or how does that work?
Yes, mostly online counseling. Sometimes real-life counseling, but usually online, because here in Holland, narcissism isn’t really a big problem. Mostly in the United States and Australia, sometimes England, Canada, New Zealand. China, India. They’re all where my clients come from.
What do you talk about?
There are three types of clients. There are those that are actually looking for counseling — I have problems, I need help dealing with those problems. There are also those that think they have been victimized by a narcissist, and after two or three sessions, it turns out that they are the narcissistic personality of the relationship, which surprised me at first, but it tends to be more common than you think. There are those that just want to have the power to deal with it themselves. But as soon as you explain to them why they are so confused, and what happened in their relationship, they understand. It’s a pattern that repeats itself in every relationship between someone who is narcissistic and someone who is not. And then they understand, and they can move on by themselves.
Do you ever refer them to an actual doctor? Obviously, you’re experienced in this field, but you don’t have a degree, right?
Yes. I am getting a psychology degree at this time, but that would still not make me a doctor. So I can never prescribe medicines, but some people I refer to a doctor or a professional psychologist, because some things you can’t do online. You can assess certain things — you can help people, you can give them mindful practices, and you can help them with their thinking patterns, but some people really need regular help with [professional] exercises.